“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.”   
                                                                                      - William Shakespeare

Some clients rationalize; some downright apologize for seeking
hypnosis services for self-improvement. Many feel as though they are being selfish or frivolous for even wanting to improve themselves and their lives.  Why is this so?  Why feel the need to apologize? Life is a precious gift; we are the caretakers of this gift; taking care of ourselves should be of paramount importance to us, shouldn’t it?  Is self-neglect truly a more admirable quality to have?  I think not.

Many don’t realize that self-improvement also directly impacts the lives of those we interact with each and every day; so, it is not a selfish endeavor at all.  Just imagine you did decide to focus on self-improvement. If you are the best version of yourself:  happy, secure, confident, and calm,
wouldn’t others in your life reap the benefits of that mind set?  Wouldn’t it also inspire others to be the best versions of themselves?  Like a candle lit in the dark, the influence will spread.

So, which is truly a better quality to have - self-love or self-neglect?  The choice is simple... clear…no apologies needed.  Light that candle and enjoy the peaceful glow!  =-)

In a world filled with apathy, the “this is just how it is supposed
to be for me…things will never change” attitude, the empowering “can-do” attitude that is at the center of hypnosis is truly a welcomed breath a fresh air.  Because “life is not a matter of chance...it is a matter of choice.”   (Unknown author)                  

This is why I feel so blessed to be a hypnotist.  I greatly admire those who recognize failure in the past but still make the choice to refuse to allow it to determine their futures. I admire people who choose to be committed to being caretakers of their precious lives, people who choose to understand and appreciate the idea that this beautiful life is our shot…our one shot at becoming all we dreamed we could be.  I admire people who choose to recognize and believe that change IS possible, if it is so desired.  And these people…these wonderful dreamers and doers…are the exact people I get to work with each and every day with hypnosis, one of the most powerful tools available for long-term change.  

Hypnosis relies on two very important factors.  The first is the role of the hypnotist, but that is most obvious, of course.  The second is the role of the client. However, many fail to see the importance of the client's role, thinking that all he does is passively sit back and allow some sort of spell to be cast over him.  Shocking to many is the idea that the client's role is actually a very active, involved one.

The image to the left illustrates the hypnotic process very nicely.  You see a hand reaching out, beckoning you, attempting to guide you through some unknown territory. Think of the hand as that of the hypnotist...reaching out, preparing to lead you on a journey to the depths of your mind, the subconscious mind, where real, long-term change takes place. 

The hypnotic process is quite simple. Beginning with the relaxation process, I, as the hypnotist, will reach out to you, and I will lead you on your journey by using very specific words and images that you will be able to identify with/relate to; the images will "speak" to you and you alone.  For example, are you a mechanic?  I might use symbolism/images that will tap into this knowledge, making it easier for you to follow along on the journey.  Maybe you enjoy scrap-booking or gardening.  I might choose to use images of those activities during the session.  You, as the client, must go on the journey WITH me, your hypnotist - not just hearing my carefully selected words but imagining  each suggested image as though you were really experiencing it - picturing each image in as much detail as possible. The more real you make those images "come alive" (since you will be able to relate well to the images, making them "come alive" will come easily to you), the more likely the message of change will get into your subconscious mind.  Once the new thought enters the subconscious mind, long-term change is on its way!  Simple....magical!   We did it together; a job well done!     =-D

Over the summer, I visited Yosemite National Park.  Among other things, I just had to experience those mighty redwoods first hand; it was in the top five of my "bucket list." 

I spent the first day in the park doing some serious hiking - almost 10 miles total. One particular segment of the hike involved hiking the Upper Yosemite Falls.  It was a three mile hike up switch backs. Imagine climbing steep stairs steadily for three miles...it was kind of like that. Needless to say, by the end of that paticular hike, I seriously thought I would die. My legs were sore, my heart was pounding; in fact, I was pretty certain it was going to leap out of my chest and jump off the drop-off (at least it would land in a stunning area).   I was shocked I made it out of there that day, but I did.  And I hurt...  a lot.  (It was well worth it, by the way.)

The next day another series of hikes was planned.  One particular hike involved a two mile hike downhill.  All this after walking my feet to the bone the previous day; I was nervous. The walk down...no problem...but a two mile hike uphill?  UP A HILL????  That was a serious problem. WIth every stride down the path, I kept thinking, "You will never get back up!"  "How are you going to do this?"  "You are going to get stuck at the bottom...then what, smarty?"  (Yep, the internal conflict was getting bad.)  It also didn't help to see the people passing me along the way...shuffling back up the dreaded hill...sucking down water, sporting sweaty complexions of purplish hues, gasping like fish out of water.  This constant visual didn't help my state of mind.  It reinforced each and every belief I had about not making it up that hill.

I am not really sure what was the big draw at the bottom of that hill (maybe it was designed to give tourists some exercise, or maybe I was too wrapped up in my own private hell to care),but it was time to head back up.  The time had come; doomsday had arrived. 

After taking several labored steps up, I got an immediate thought in my head.  "Um, you are a hypnotist!  Do what you do! Hypnotize yourself!"  Of course! First,  I checked to see if anyone was right in front of me, and I alerted my beau that my eyes would be closed for a bit. When my eyes were closed, I then shifted my thoughts away from my physical discomfort and focused on an image of energy and health.  I imagined, with every breath I took, breathing in all the wonderful energy from the mighty trees which surrounded me.  I imagined what it looked like with all that energy flowing through me...flowing through every cell, muscle, fiber of my body.  I enjoyed hearing my lungs fill with air and imagining what my breath looked like - swirling, swirling.  In my mind's eye I was taking on the dynamic energy that surrounded me...making it a part of me.  And guess what happened?  (No, I did not bump into a tree.) I found myself easily achieving my goal.  In fact, I began walking faster and faster.  I didn't break a sweat; my legs felt completely wonderful, and I was completely at peace. I could have continued for miles; I am convinced of that. 

It was truly an amazing experience. I created a different picture in my mind, one of success and energy rather than one of pain and failure.  How amazingly the body just followed along with that image/suggestion.  Fascinating!  The power and magic of hypnosis!  My only regret was spending all that time worrying, when I should have been appreciating the wonder of that beautiful environment.  Well, at least I experienced it...in my mind's eye.  =-)

Recently, one of my weight loss clients was
sharing an interesting story with me that I think highlights the simple, unassuming power of hypnosis.  She told me that while she was flipping through a natural foods magazine, certain pictures were making her recall suggestions/imagery that was utilize during our hypnosis sessions.  She was humored just how many times a healthy image/suggestion was brought to her conscious mind just by looking at a simple photo.  She then began to explain all the other subtle ways the images/ suggestions were presenting themselves in her daily life, enabling her to choose healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and feel motivated to exercise. She clearly sees how those new thoughts, now deep in the subconscious mind, are reinforcing her set goals. Her subconscious mind is now in the process of forming a new pattern/way of thinking, and that new pattern is positively impacting her life, as it quietly replaces the old, burdensome patterns that were holding her back for so many years. 

Imagine you need to light the perfect camp fire. The process begins by igniting carefully arranged kindling under some seemingly heavy, unyielding logs. Then, very slowly, a tiny flame rises up; hope and promise look on with anticipation. The tiny flame brightens and spreads, and it ends up mastering those heavy, cumbersome logs, creating tremendous dynamic energy. Now, it is out with the old, and in with the new – all beginning with a single spark.

The same is true with the magic of hypnosis. First, we identify the seemingly heavy and unyielding habit/pattern that needs to be changed.  If change is something that you truly desire, we then use the power of hypnosis to "ignite" carefully placed images/suggestions within your subconscious mind. (Your conscious mind will also be fully aware of everything that is said during our session; it is no secret).  Each and every day thereafter, as the images/suggestions are reinforced, a new thought or belief slowly begins to grow brighter and stronger. Your subconscious then becomes totally illuminated with new, healthy, and positive ideas; those ideas continue to spread each and every day. Eventually a completely new pattern/habit takes hold, enabling you to live the dynamic life you imagined and desired. 

Feeling stressed?  The image contained within this quote may just help you feel a bit of relief:


 “Balance. It was all about balance. That had been one of the first
things that she had learned: the center of the seesaw has neither up nor down, but upness and downness flow through it, while it remains unmoved. You had to be the center of the seesaw, so the pain flowed through you, not  into you. It was very hard. But she could do it!”                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                               ― Terry Pratchett  

Next time you feel stressed, close your eyes (if it is safe to do so). Imagine standing in the center of that seesaw. See the negative energy at the top.  Like a ball, it is rolling your way.  Take a deep breath, and as you let that breath out, imagine that energy simply flowing right through you....and away from you.  It is now gone, leaving you calm and relaxed. 

If the image doesn't come easily at first, practice.  Still struggling?  Try hypnosis. The part of the brain that hypnosis targets, the subconscious mind, LOVES images/thoughts like this.  It totally makes sense to the subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind will reach for the visual during stressful times, making you feel...yep, you got it...RELAXED and CALM!  =-) 

Why is it that so many hard-working, goal oriented people experience an abundance of stress? One would think as one’s accomplishments in life add up, one would eventually become more confident in one’s own ability.  Many times, however, the opposite is true.  The hard-working, goal oriented individual becomes more stressed and anxious rather than confident, secure, and happy.  Why is this?   Would you be shocked to know that your subconscious mind believes stress is good?  Would you be shocked to know that you may have actually "trained" your subconscious mind to make this connection. 

This "training" has actually been taking place for years and years. Think back to your early years, that time when you were finding your niche in life.  You pushed and pushed yourself to achieve your lofty goals: doing well in school, getting that first job, finding a career, excelling in your career. Feeling the resulting stress became a natural feeling that went along with each wonderful accomplishment.  The stress became  a sign that you indeed were working hard, a personal indicator that you were driving hard at your goals.  It didn't take long for your subconscious mind to began viewing stress as positive reinforcement.  So the danger begins.

Some have conditioned themselves so much in the past, associating stress with achievement, they never find the internal peace/confidence that should come with maturity.  They subconsciously believe that if stress isn’t present, it must mean they aren’t achieving/working to their fullest potential.  To them, both are subconsciously necessary.  Now, the rational mind knows this is not true.  You do not need to feel stress to be successful, but years of conditioning have formed a different belief.  And so, to feel “whole,” many seek out stress, as stress and achievement are now subconsciously inseparable, forever linked. 

This does not mean we should avoid changing, growing, moving out of comfort zones, challenging ourselves, and doing our best - quite the contrary.  A rich, full life depends on changing, growing, and challenging oneself always.  It simply means that we need to look carefully at the stress we are feeling as we move through life, as we move through our challenges.  We need to take greater comfort in our maturity, in our abilities,  and in our skills honed throughout the years.  We need to work on losing the incorrect belief that stress is a good indicator that we are excelling and doing a good job.  It is a dangerous association that our subconscious mind created, a dangerous association that robs us of the true beauty of the present,  the true beauty of our lives.

Have you ever met someone for the first time and found yourself feeling an immediate connection him or her?  Perhaps you experienced the opposite, and you felt immediately repelled by someone.  Anains Nin once said, “We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”  Her statement is so simple; yet it is profound when used to understand our experience of life, in particular when understanding the Law of Attraction: the idea that like attracts like. 

How does this work?  It is rather simple. Thought, like everything else, vibrates with energy.  Those who “vibrate” at a particular energy level attract others who are “vibrating” on that same level. In a previous blog, I explained how two instruments tuned to each other and placed in the same room will resonate.  This is the same idea with the Law of Attraction.  On a subconscious level, we seek like-minded people in our lives; they resonate with us.  Something within us is attracted to their energy. Generally speaking, this is why positive people tend to keep company with positive people; negative people seek out negative people; people who love “drama” tend to find others with the same interest; spiritual people seek fellow spiritual people, etc.  They are all vibrating at the same energy level.  Quite simply, our connections around us are merely extensions of who we are.

Perhaps this is nothing new to you.  If you are in a good place, like the types of people you are attracting to your life/your world, and you generally feel at peace – congrats!   No doubt you have an understanding of the Law of Attraction. What If, however, you are like many others, and you are wondering why you find yourself hurt over and over again or wondering why you feel so negative all the time.  Well, no doubt you have heard the old saying that misery loves company.  Challenge yourself to look inward.  Are you giving off that same energy?  Are people around you resonating with the vibrations of your energy?  Are you merely getting what you are projecting?  I completely understand that it is a tough pill to swallow, and it is rather harsh sounding, but time and time again it is proven true; we are seeing the world as we are, we are subconsciously choosing the company we keep; we are subconsciously choosing to be treated the way others treat us.  Ouch!

Perhaps you are beginning to realize the energy you are projecting, or maybe you are experiencing dissonance, a feeling that you are not tuned in to those around you.  How can we learn to "vibrate" on a different level? How can we feel "tuned in" in a positive way?  Quite simply, consciously seek out others who vibrate with you, or seek people who vibrate on the level on which you wish to vibrate.  Need to feel positivity?  Volunteer for a cause; give back.  Need to feel spiritual connections?  Head to a church; join a church group, or practice yoga in a group setting.  Choose who you want to resonate with and make it happen; after all, it is a choice   It is empowering.  You are not a victim; you truly can change your world/your reality by changing your energy – one thought at a time. 

Did you ever hear an old song on the radio and find yourself immediately transported back in time?  In that moment, you can vividly picture a certain scene with such great detail and clarity; it is as though it happened just yesterday.  In fact, you may end up experiencing an actual emotional response to it, and you find yourself smiling and laughing...or sobbing like a child.

Have you ever over reacted to a situation and "lost it," and you had no understanding how or why this over reaction occurred in the first place?  Maybe it was just a certain "look" someone shot your way that irritated you.  Maybe it was the tone in someone's voice that did it. Either way, you were irritated, and you didn't know why.

So, why does this occur?  Well, there is a theory about this.  Some refer to it as "emotional resonance."  It is when a current stimulus (a song, a look, etc) fires a memory in your subconscious mind (which stores EVERY experience you have ever had).  Then, a reaction to the memory occurs.  The current stimuli (the song/ the "look") was simply a reminder or trigger, and your subconscious mind put the pieces together, made the connection, and activated memories and emotions. 

To get an idea of how this works, imagine two musical instruments, a piano and a guitar, being placed in a room together.  If they were tuned to each other, you could walk over to the piano, strike the A key firmly, and guess what would happen?  The vibration would move through the air, be received by the guitar, and the guitar's A string would begin to sound/resonate.  The energy contained in that A key traveled, and it activated a sympathetic response in the guitar's string. This is very much the same way our memories - conscious and subconscious - trigger emotional responses within us.

So, are we victims to our memories?  Are we doomed if we had a difficult and somewhat unpleasant past?  Does this theory give us permission to over react?  No, No, and NO!  You are not a victim; knowledge is power.  Recognizing and understanding thought patterns and dealing with  pent-up emotions from the past (i.e. learning to let go), will resonate in the present, enabling you feel internal peace - at last!

I will share an example in my life; perhaps you too can think of a specific one.   One day, my beau was reading the newspaper, and I asked him a question.  He simply lowered the paper, looked at me, answered the question, and then continued reading the paper.  Gasp!  How rude!   Well, most wouldn't think so, but initially I was really hurt by his innocent and appropriate response. He did, after all, answer my question.  However, I wasn't "receiving" the information well.  There was a disconnect somewhere. 

Fortunately, I am a great  fan of recognizing patterns of behavior in life, understanding patterns, and, if need be, rising above those patterns  (shocking, I know). So, I was able to step back and quickly identify just how unreasonable my response was, and I stopped myself from spiraling into some sort of dramatic episode. I then wondered why/how such an innocent event could trigger such an emotional response in me.  Then I remembered.  Growing up, my father was a very busy man with a very stressful job.  When he came home from work, he needed "downtime."  He didn't especially appreciate interruptions from a little girl who had lots of questions about the world.  Oftentimes, he lowered his newspaper in the same fashion, looked at me, and sent me on my way.  Yes, sometimes I felt like I was a pest.  BINGO! There we have it!  The same movement my beau made triggered this subconscious memory, and it resonated with me, creating an "out of place" emotional response. The movement of paper and the a gaze of the eyes transported me...made me resonate.  Fascinating, isn't it?  It can also be the source of a lot of trouble, however, if you don't seek to understand. 

So, next time you "lose it," take a step back and see if you can identify the TRUE source of your emotional response.  See if you can figure out just what connections your subconscious mind is making.  Instead of feeling like an angry victim, you will ultimately feel empowered!

Did you know that despite having such a complex brain, we only can think one conscious thought at a time?  Reflect on that for a moment.  Now imagine the power that lay before us.  What if we consciously stop ourselves when a negative, self-defeating thought pops into our heads...and we replace that negative thought with a positive thought?  Imagine the ripple effect that will surely take place as a result.  So, I challenge you to change your world...one thought at a time...