Why is it that so many hard-working, goal oriented people experience an abundance of stress? One would think as one’s accomplishments in life add up, one would eventually become more confident in one’s own ability.  Many times, however, the opposite is true.  The hard-working, goal oriented individual becomes more stressed and anxious rather than confident, secure, and happy.  Why is this?   Would you be shocked to know that your subconscious mind believes stress is good?  Would you be shocked to know that you may have actually "trained" your subconscious mind to make this connection. 

This "training" has actually been taking place for years and years. Think back to your early years, that time when you were finding your niche in life.  You pushed and pushed yourself to achieve your lofty goals: doing well in school, getting that first job, finding a career, excelling in your career. Feeling the resulting stress became a natural feeling that went along with each wonderful accomplishment.  The stress became  a sign that you indeed were working hard, a personal indicator that you were driving hard at your goals.  It didn't take long for your subconscious mind to began viewing stress as positive reinforcement.  So the danger begins.

Some have conditioned themselves so much in the past, associating stress with achievement, they never find the internal peace/confidence that should come with maturity.  They subconsciously believe that if stress isn’t present, it must mean they aren’t achieving/working to their fullest potential.  To them, both are subconsciously necessary.  Now, the rational mind knows this is not true.  You do not need to feel stress to be successful, but years of conditioning have formed a different belief.  And so, to feel “whole,” many seek out stress, as stress and achievement are now subconsciously inseparable, forever linked. 

This does not mean we should avoid changing, growing, moving out of comfort zones, challenging ourselves, and doing our best - quite the contrary.  A rich, full life depends on changing, growing, and challenging oneself always.  It simply means that we need to look carefully at the stress we are feeling as we move through life, as we move through our challenges.  We need to take greater comfort in our maturity, in our abilities,  and in our skills honed throughout the years.  We need to work on losing the incorrect belief that stress is a good indicator that we are excelling and doing a good job.  It is a dangerous association that our subconscious mind created, a dangerous association that robs us of the true beauty of the present,  the true beauty of our lives.

Have you ever met someone for the first time and found yourself feeling an immediate connection him or her?  Perhaps you experienced the opposite, and you felt immediately repelled by someone.  Anains Nin once said, “We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”  Her statement is so simple; yet it is profound when used to understand our experience of life, in particular when understanding the Law of Attraction: the idea that like attracts like. 

How does this work?  It is rather simple. Thought, like everything else, vibrates with energy.  Those who “vibrate” at a particular energy level attract others who are “vibrating” on that same level. In a previous blog, I explained how two instruments tuned to each other and placed in the same room will resonate.  This is the same idea with the Law of Attraction.  On a subconscious level, we seek like-minded people in our lives; they resonate with us.  Something within us is attracted to their energy. Generally speaking, this is why positive people tend to keep company with positive people; negative people seek out negative people; people who love “drama” tend to find others with the same interest; spiritual people seek fellow spiritual people, etc.  They are all vibrating at the same energy level.  Quite simply, our connections around us are merely extensions of who we are.

Perhaps this is nothing new to you.  If you are in a good place, like the types of people you are attracting to your life/your world, and you generally feel at peace – congrats!   No doubt you have an understanding of the Law of Attraction. What If, however, you are like many others, and you are wondering why you find yourself hurt over and over again or wondering why you feel so negative all the time.  Well, no doubt you have heard the old saying that misery loves company.  Challenge yourself to look inward.  Are you giving off that same energy?  Are people around you resonating with the vibrations of your energy?  Are you merely getting what you are projecting?  I completely understand that it is a tough pill to swallow, and it is rather harsh sounding, but time and time again it is proven true; we are seeing the world as we are, we are subconsciously choosing the company we keep; we are subconsciously choosing to be treated the way others treat us.  Ouch!

Perhaps you are beginning to realize the energy you are projecting, or maybe you are experiencing dissonance, a feeling that you are not tuned in to those around you.  How can we learn to "vibrate" on a different level? How can we feel "tuned in" in a positive way?  Quite simply, consciously seek out others who vibrate with you, or seek people who vibrate on the level on which you wish to vibrate.  Need to feel positivity?  Volunteer for a cause; give back.  Need to feel spiritual connections?  Head to a church; join a church group, or practice yoga in a group setting.  Choose who you want to resonate with and make it happen; after all, it is a choice   It is empowering.  You are not a victim; you truly can change your world/your reality by changing your energy – one thought at a time. 

Did you ever hear an old song on the radio and find yourself immediately transported back in time?  In that moment, you can vividly picture a certain scene with such great detail and clarity; it is as though it happened just yesterday.  In fact, you may end up experiencing an actual emotional response to it, and you find yourself smiling and laughing...or sobbing like a child.

Have you ever over reacted to a situation and "lost it," and you had no understanding how or why this over reaction occurred in the first place?  Maybe it was just a certain "look" someone shot your way that irritated you.  Maybe it was the tone in someone's voice that did it. Either way, you were irritated, and you didn't know why.

So, why does this occur?  Well, there is a theory about this.  Some refer to it as "emotional resonance."  It is when a current stimulus (a song, a look, etc) fires a memory in your subconscious mind (which stores EVERY experience you have ever had).  Then, a reaction to the memory occurs.  The current stimuli (the song/ the "look") was simply a reminder or trigger, and your subconscious mind put the pieces together, made the connection, and activated memories and emotions. 

To get an idea of how this works, imagine two musical instruments, a piano and a guitar, being placed in a room together.  If they were tuned to each other, you could walk over to the piano, strike the A key firmly, and guess what would happen?  The vibration would move through the air, be received by the guitar, and the guitar's A string would begin to sound/resonate.  The energy contained in that A key traveled, and it activated a sympathetic response in the guitar's string. This is very much the same way our memories - conscious and subconscious - trigger emotional responses within us.

So, are we victims to our memories?  Are we doomed if we had a difficult and somewhat unpleasant past?  Does this theory give us permission to over react?  No, No, and NO!  You are not a victim; knowledge is power.  Recognizing and understanding thought patterns and dealing with  pent-up emotions from the past (i.e. learning to let go), will resonate in the present, enabling you feel internal peace - at last!

I will share an example in my life; perhaps you too can think of a specific one.   One day, my beau was reading the newspaper, and I asked him a question.  He simply lowered the paper, looked at me, answered the question, and then continued reading the paper.  Gasp!  How rude!   Well, most wouldn't think so, but initially I was really hurt by his innocent and appropriate response. He did, after all, answer my question.  However, I wasn't "receiving" the information well.  There was a disconnect somewhere. 

Fortunately, I am a great  fan of recognizing patterns of behavior in life, understanding patterns, and, if need be, rising above those patterns  (shocking, I know). So, I was able to step back and quickly identify just how unreasonable my response was, and I stopped myself from spiraling into some sort of dramatic episode. I then wondered why/how such an innocent event could trigger such an emotional response in me.  Then I remembered.  Growing up, my father was a very busy man with a very stressful job.  When he came home from work, he needed "downtime."  He didn't especially appreciate interruptions from a little girl who had lots of questions about the world.  Oftentimes, he lowered his newspaper in the same fashion, looked at me, and sent me on my way.  Yes, sometimes I felt like I was a pest.  BINGO! There we have it!  The same movement my beau made triggered this subconscious memory, and it resonated with me, creating an "out of place" emotional response. The movement of paper and the a gaze of the eyes transported me...made me resonate.  Fascinating, isn't it?  It can also be the source of a lot of trouble, however, if you don't seek to understand. 

So, next time you "lose it," take a step back and see if you can identify the TRUE source of your emotional response.  See if you can figure out just what connections your subconscious mind is making.  Instead of feeling like an angry victim, you will ultimately feel empowered!

Did you know that despite having such a complex brain, we only can think one conscious thought at a time?  Reflect on that for a moment.  Now imagine the power that lay before us.  What if we consciously stop ourselves when a negative, self-defeating thought pops into our heads...and we replace that negative thought with a positive thought?  Imagine the ripple effect that will surely take place as a result.  So, I challenge you to change your world...one thought at a time...

A current weight-loss client recently contacted me between sessions to give me an update on her progress.  She was amazed how she is now making good, healthy choices for herself naturally.  She continued by telling me she added grape tomatoes to her salad.  Doesn't sound too earth shattering, does it?  Well, before hypnosis she despised tomatoes; now she is naturally drawn to them and all food that is good for her.  I think this is a perfect example of the power of hypnosis, and why it is such an effective tool for change.  Instead of battling with will-power and trying to FORCE yourself to do something you truly do not desire to do (i.e. eat in a healthy manner, exercise, adopt a stress-free attitude, be a non-smoker, etc), you now simply desire healthy habits NATURALLY.  Imagine how liberating it can be!

“The old adage, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is' isn't always correct. In fact, the suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this belief can and does keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities.”
                                                                                  ― Richard Carlson

Believing in something genuinely good is difficult for many...after all, our society encourages the critical approach - question, question, question.  How sadly limiting that behavior is.  Through constantly questioning, we shackle ourselves to what we know; we shackle ourselves to our limited experience.  In doing so, we block that ever important part of our brains that can soar with possibility. 

I think about all the wonderful inventions we have in our world, inventions that are designed to benefit us by making our lives so much easier.  I imagine during the planning stages of such inventions, many people doubted; many criticized, and many were suspicious.  Thank goodness for the dreamers...for the ones who whispered to themselves, "Why not?"  ...for the ones who just went for it, despite the criticism of those who couldn't see beyond their own experience.  

I will never tire of the sheer magic of hypnosis.   Magic?  No doubt, you are now picturing magic wands, white rabbits with long, furry  ears, and spells of some sort, correct? 

The truth is that the magic is far more powerful than wands, hats, and spells.  The real magic all takes place within the brain...all through accessing that wonderful, highly imaginative, and magical brain, the brain that is capable of picturing an image of success in such detail that the "dreamer" actually feels as though it is a reality.  Once the "dreamer" experiences this "reality," the new behavior/desired outcome will feel like second nature to him.  He will keep repeating the positive experience in his daily life; in no time, he will attain the desired outcome.  My friends, if that isn't magic, I don't know what is. 

I was recently addressing a group of high school freshmen on the very first day of school. Even though most were wide-eyed with excitement,  I knew some sitting before me did not have a very successful stay at the middle school.  My message was simple.  I told them they are the ones who CHOOSE to let their history/past shape who they are today.  Only they CHOOSE to repeat patterns of the past.  It is a CHOICE; it is not a destiny.  Those on the right track, well, I am confident they will continue choosing the right behavior for themselves.  For those not making good choices, well, it is my hope that they realize they are not as shackled to their past as they may think they are.  It was a new year; it was a new start.  Perhaps even they will realize they don't have to wait for an entire year to pass to make positive changes, as we actually have 365 chances to change each and every year.  Each wonderful day we wake to the world before us provides a perfect opportunity for us to be exactly how we imagine ourselves to be.  Hopefully they will see that we don't have to shackle ourselves to the past - to our history - if we don't CHOOSE to do so.

I was recently thinking about a story I heard about how to build a flea circus.  All you do is gather up a bunch of fleas (probably a bit challenging) and put them in a jar.  Now, cover the jar with a piece of cardboard.  The fleas will repetitively jump up with all their force, hit the cardboard, and fall to the bottom of the jar. 

In time, however, remove the cardboard from the jar.  Low and behold, the fleas, trying to avoid the pain associated with jumping, will now jump only high enough to avoid hitting the piece of cardboard, which remember, is now no longer in place. 

Do you allow people to put a "lid" on you? Maybe you are the one moving the lid in place. Reflect on whether or not you find yourself no longer "jumping high," because you are afraid of the anticipated pain.